Here’s a sampling of the Valentine’s Day cards I’m sending to my friends:
I found these retro Valentine’s Day cards on line. I love them because they’re corny and sweet but mostly because they’re not associated with any advertising campaign like the Hello Kitty or Barbie or Toy Story valentines that drugstores shelve this time of year. I gave out similar ones as a schoolgirl.
Valentines Day was always a big deal at our house growing up. I remember one of my older sisters coming home with a sheet-cake-sized box of chocolates. Three layers deep! Oh, the joy! Three months later after a painful visit to the dentist (hers, not ours), she sat us down and gave us a lecture on proper tooth-brushing procedures.
My dad loaded us up with candy and funny cards on February 14. Once he gave a card to my little sister that I haven’t forgotten, a card which these days would probably constitute emotional abuse or a Tiger Mother parenting technique. The cartoon drawing on the front showed a very shapely woman whose face was marred by crossed eyes, buck-teeth and a goofy expression. The poem to accompany it went something like this:
You’ve got curves like a roller coaster
Your clothes fit like a glove
But there’s one thing, Valentine dear—
You’ve got a face only a mother could love.
My little sister was adorable, by the way.
In that tradition of light verse sent on Valentine’s Day, I’m sending my friends this poem as well:
Happy Valentine’s Day! Remember, you don’t need a lover to spread the love.
Yes, do remember that card. On the inside it said “and she does and all the rest of us”. Also, I had a major overbite at the time so I really did take offense to this silly little card. I think I might still have that Valentine somewhere in my piles.
Hope you had a good VD (remember that joke?) and thanks for the memories
signed, Bob Hope
but such a cute overbite!
I came across this page. The roller coaster valentine went like this:
You’ve got more curves than a roller coaster.
Your clothes fit like a glove.
There’s only one thing Miss. Glamour Puss,
You’ve a face only a mother would love.
Funny? I think not. I got this Valentine as a 13 year old girl, and I was devastated by it. The fact that I remember it today (at age 79) should speak for itself. Deliberately hurting someone who is at a vulnerable age is never funny. It’s not cute. It doesn’t take a Tiger Mom to get that words can hurt and damage self-esteem. Did I recover? Of course. The boy that gave it to me was a bully in many ways, and while I remember his actions, I don’t even remember his name now. We live in a world that can me rude and mean. Let’s teach kids to be better than that. If you can’t send a nice Valentine or one that is genuinely funny, don’t bother to send one at all.
This is such an old post, I had to go back to read it to understand your comments. I am very sorry this happened to you. You’re right, the Valentine is not funny. My title for the posting had nothing to do with that card, and if you read the comment section, you can see that my little sister did not think it was funny either—but her experience wasn’t as hurtful as yours, given that her card came from someone who loved her and obviously didn’t mean her to take the card personally.